Saturday, September 19, 2009

Rooftop on a Gloomy Day

i want to die there...

i want to be on the rooftop on a gloomy day where the breezes of the wind will hit my wound as i slit my wrist on the rooftop...

it'll be a very beautiful day...

strong winds will blow my hair...

the pain on my wrist will not feel painful anymore...

as the rain started to drop, i'll spread my 'invisible' wings...

i'll fly away from here...from you...from reality...from the pain in my heart...

goodbye...

and i'll fall gracefully as it ends with a loud thud!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

hey there

wow...
i'm back here writing...
i'm getting there...
i'll forget him...
but i won't forget our happy memories...
they are precious to me so i won't forget..
but i'll forget him because he is no longer the one i used to loved..

Friday, August 7, 2009

ESL WEBSITE EVALUATION

1. What does the application attempt to “teach”?

The application is attempting to teach English by providing all sorts of activities for teachers to use in their teaching and also for students to try for themselves as well. There’s a link provided for teachers (iteslj.org/t/)which includes ongoing projects that teachers can use or contribute to. Online textbooks are also provided here. There’s another link for students (http://a4esl.org/) where thousands of activities provided there for ESL students to help them study English.

2. What sorts of things is the application user expected to do with regards to learning the content?

The things that the students do is to simply answers the activities provided in the web to improve their English. For example from the link (http://iteslj.org/v/ei/) from the webpage, ‘Vocabulary Quizes Using Images’. There are lots of links regarding nouns, verbs, and adjectives in this link and the students can pick either one to answer regarding to which part of vocabulary that they would like to improve. For example, Nouns: Clothes and Accessories (http://iteslj.org/v/ei/clothes.html), we must first click on the ‘start’ button at the page. And then, the web will provide pictures for the students and the students will pick the correct answer. if the correct answer were given, the page will show “CORRECT” sign for the students and if it’s wrong, the page will show “WRONG” and gave the correct answer for the students to view and for all the wrong answers, the web will automatically repeat the question with tiny remark on top of the questions ‘try this one again’. There are also ‘restart’ button to do the quiz all over again and also ‘about’ button for further information.

3. What sorts of computer skills is the application users expected to have in order to operate/access/use the application?

The skills that the users need will only be the basic skills of using a computer and internet. They will definitely need to have internet access to use the web in their learning. And then, by clicking on the link to the webpage, they can immediately start using the application.

4. While you are “playing”/”accessing”/”assessing” the application, does it remind you of anything you do in a classroom, or with a teacher, or with a fellow classmate, or in self-study?

No. When I was young, my teachers in school do not use computers or the internet in their teaching thus, I never experience using it at all before. But, I do answers these quizzes for self-studies before.

5. Can you pinpoint some theories of language learning and/or teaching underlying the application?

I think it can be related to cognitive and constructivism theories of language learning. Cognitive theories includes ‘role of mistake’. In the web, it does help the students when they make mistakes. Meanwhile, constructive theory can be applied since it is an independent learning process.

6. How well is the constructivist theory of learning applied to the chosen website?

The constructivist theory of learning applied to the website is very well because the student in involving themselves in independent learning and the students is building themselves in what they had already learn. With their existing knowledge in English, they apply the knowledge by using the application and therefore gather new knowledge themselves through the process.

7. In 1980s and early 1990s, there was a major debate on ‘whether the computer was “master” of or “slave” to the learning process (Higgins and Johns, 1984). In relation to your evaluation - was the computer a replacement for teachers, or merely an obedient servant to students?

I would be one to say that the computer could never be a replacement for teachers. They can be of help to teachers in the teaching but it could never be able to replace teachers because having a teacher is a necessity. Teachers are human beings and therefore, they can understand students better and motivates them. A computer is indeed an obedient servant to students. We use them to do our assignments and any spelling errors will be checked by them and get corrected. That’s all that they do. And they can even gave us access to the internet in order for us to gain more information in any matters we’re of interest at.

8. Would you like to use the application yourself in your future work?

Yes. I’ll definitely use the application in the future because as a future teacher, I think that it’ll be beneficial for my students if I use this application. However, several factors might intrude my intention since in schools nowadays, not all of them had enough access to the internet or even provided with computers in classrooms. So, it will be a difficulty to inculcate such learning. Nevertheless, I can still use the web as guidance in my teaching and also a source for me to improve myself with my English.

Suggestions / Recommendations: I think however, the instruction should be clearer. In some of the activities provided, I don’t quite understand what it wanted me to answer at first.

Friday, July 31, 2009

it's been a while, huh?

30/07/09

I left home for a few days before. To be honest, I don’t really get there to do my work. I do wanted to do it but, I never get to do it anyway. The truth is; I just wanna be alone for a while. It’s not that I don’t like being with my family. God knows that I love them so much. Even if I tell them how I really feel inside, even if I show them just how broken I am to them, they would still not be able to understand. I knew what’s coming. The shouting, they will only yell at me for the things that I’ve done. And it will hurt me even more. Yes, I know I am wrong. I know I am not a good daughter and not much of a good sister. And I am so sorry… it’s all that I can say to my mother and my dearest sisters. I’m sorry that I had to hide this part of me which is loosening up inside of me. I can’t tell them that I slit my wrist or that I have gone too far from the right path of life. I know one day I will be better. I know I am wrong now. I might die and go to hell anyway. It’s not that I don’t care. It’s just too much things that had happened and they all made me give up. I gave up on everything. I don’t want to do anything anymore. I seem to fail in every way. My friend said I’m crazy. Hell, maybe I am crazy. So “I’m sorry” is all that I can say. You guys might kick me out one day and I might have to live all alone without seeing those faces that I love so much anymore. I love you guys so much that I never even wanted to be loved in return because if you love me, I will only hurt you. It hurts for you guys to see me this way. I’m sorry…

p/s: didn't get to write much so far... i'm lost in life, lost in my heartbreak...